On Opposing Mindsets, Opinions or Thoughts: Dealing with Incongruence
Sometimes we feel like we need to be black or white. We feel like we need to justify if we like two completely oppositional things. But, the thing is, it's totally okay to believe two things at once, to be on the fence, to sometimes feel one thing and sometimes, another.
Now, to be clear: I'm not talking about major hallmarks, values or morals here. I'm talking about just the little things that sometimes get in the way of our congruence. The truth is though, we're all hypocritical in some way or sense and that's fine! I'd way rather live in a colourful world full of wonder, shifts and multi-views than a black and white one. Wouldn't you?
full transcript of today's episode
Do you ever find yourself torn between two completely different opinions or two completely different passions, hobbies or things you like that don't really have anything to do with each other? Now this comes up a lot for me and the paradox of two things coming against us in congruence with our minds can feel kind of funny because we naturally, like to be in congruence.
For example, I love the simple things. I love going on nature walks and looking at all the leaves and little things and pebbles on beaches, but then I also like the finer things and like to go a little bit gatsby sometimes. Who says we can't do both? I was talking to my partner awhile back about this and I was saying how I am so torn between being more empathetic or being a more no excuses type of mentality and he just kind of stopped me in my tracks and said, well, why can't you think both? And that's where it clicked for me. Sometimes we just need to talk it out and hear someone else's perspective and take on it. Do you ever find yourself between those two places? For example: should I be more empathetic with myself (and usually empathy and more empathy is the answer), but in some cases...you have to be more hard on yourself and you have to be more of a "no excuses type of person." You sometime have to get yourself up and tough it out.
Do we keep giving ourselves more lenience and more empathy, more compassion and more sympathy? Or do we raise our standards, get up and go? It's that fine balance between empathy and obedience.
I find that this comes up a lot for me and I'd like to ask, is there something for you that comes up that isn't really congruent in your brain or your mind right now? It's hard to differentiate when we need to be more empathetic with ourselves versus just suck it up. And, sometimes when we like two opposing things like the simple things and the finer things in life, we find it hard to justify or deal with that in our brains, but we don't really own that opinion to anybody. Not everything has to be black or white. Nor would that be fun. That would be a life and a world that would be so colourless! So, I just want to remind you (and remind myself) that we need to own that.
We can have two opposing mindsets or opinions or hobbies or things that we like. Know that, we're all ever changing and we don't really need to feel the pressure to constantly be either one or the other. Now, of course I'm speaking in a general sense. You can't be flip flopping all your morals and values. That's not what I'm talking about here. I'm just talking about when there's that kind of incongruence in your mind about hey, well I like the finer things in life, but I also like the really simple things. You can do both. I'm the type of person that loves all the little things in life and I'm in awe of nature. I always have been. But then, I also love getting fancy, but then, I'm also a minimalist in certain ways and I like things to be very neat and tidy and not cluttered, but then, at the same time I love fashion and jewelry and getting dressed up.
We don't owe a black or white opinion to anybody. We can love two things at the same time. We can think two things at the same time and we can change our opinions and change our ways and our ways of thinking at any time and we don't need anyone's permission to do that. I know that I get caught in my head about this a lot, so I figured there would be probably someone else out there that also kind of thinks about this and that finds it hard not being congruent when they say one thing or another.
Hopefully this quick little tidbit just reminded you to own it and to be completely okay with having two opposing thoughts, opinions, or mindsets and with being multi-passionate or multi-thoughtful? If that makes any sense at all ;).
I hope that next time you feel like you need to be on one end or the other, you can remind yourself that it's what makes you, multi-passionate and multi-opinionated and multi-thought'd that makes you, you!
Sending you BIG love today & always!
My whole heart, ♡
The Happiness Approach Podcast
Want inspo-on-the-go? Listen to the audio version of this blog post here ♡
In this podcast episode, I share with you why it's okay to sometimes have two opposing thoughts, mindsets or opinions and chat about incongruence a little bit.
Today's QT's: Quote-ables & Takeaways from today's podcast episode & blog ↴
“How boring to be black or white, when you can be colourful!”
“Be multi-passionate, multi-opinionated, multi-thought'd & multi-faceted because that's what makes you, you.”